Is It Even Possible to Overcome Self-Sabotage?
If you are reading this article you must have an interest in discovering how to overcome self-sabotage. Do you believe that you can overcome self-sabotage? Please keep reading because you can and I will give you a method to do it.
Do you ever think that things never work out for you, that you have terrible luck, or that you just don’t have what it takes to be successful? It’s natural for anyone to complain and feel sorry for themselves when these are their thoughts or something similar.
Self-Sabotage Happens On A Subconscious Level
But these thoughts are based on false beliefs. What is often not realized is that we actually create our own circumstances. If the circumstances you are creating are not what you want, it is because of subconscious self-sabotage.
It is easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious mind is. We are often completely unaware of how our actions or inactions are affecting our lives.
If you want to overcome self-sabotage it is critically important to make use of the power of your conscious mind. Use it to fully explore your thoughts and emotions, and your fears, in particular, to gain knowledge and understanding about how they influence your actions.
Once you determine the cause of the thoughts and emotions that are at the basis of the destructive behavior, you can begin to take steps to prevent it from happening in the future.
But what is really happening when any of us engage in self-sabotage? It is very possible that even though we desire something, subconsciously we may be frightened by a particular outcome.
Why Learning to Overcome Self-Sabotage Can Be Frightening
Let’s look at a couple of examples where self-sabotage may be the reason you aren’t able to accomplish your desire.
Inability to Stick to a Diet and Lose Weight
For example, let’s look at a desire to lose weight. Some people have fought the battle of weight loss, have tried every diet known to mankind, but still cannot lose the weight or keep it off. They push themselves harder, berate themselves and try to use sheer force of will to lose the weight.
Using their conscious mind they decide they want to lose weight. They proclaim with their words and attempts at taking positive action that they want to lose weight. And, in reality, they believe that they want to lose it.
But what’s really going on beneath the surface? What if they are insecure and have an unacknowledged need to hide or conceal themselves? What if they have a fear of closeness with a partner in a sexual way?
These fears make weight loss seem threatening and frightening to the subconscious mind. But the conscious mind is completely unaware of what is really happening. In reality, the subconscious sees their layers of fat as providing a sense of security and protection in areas where they feel uncertain and it doesn’t want to give that up.
This is certainly reason enough for the subconscious mind to work against the conscious decision. It is attempting to protect an individual from feeling vulnerable and exposed. This causes a set-up for failure! It may cause them to do things like sneak food, neglect exercise, and tell themselves that they will do better tomorrow.
Moms Who Need to Work But Prefer to Stay Home
For someone else, it might be that they feel intimidated by something or someone. It could be something as simple as beginning a new job. You may not be aware that there are a surprisingly high number of people who don’t bother to show up for a scheduled job interview even when the interview is for a highly-desirable position.
Another example might involve a stay-at-home mom who decides she needs to return to a paying job and feels obligated to do it. She believes she needs to be earning money for her family, but all she really wants to do is stay at home with her children.
This divide between what she feels she needs to do and what she truly wants to do may cause her to apply for jobs she isn’t qualified for or that don’t suit her family’s schedule instead of one that she would be qualified for and that, if offered, she could accept. These are tricks the subconscious might use to keep her at home. And she will have the pleasure of being able to say that she really did “try” to get a job.
More Causes of Self-Sabotage
A feeling of unworthiness might be the cause of self-sabotage. Or they could be afraid of how other people will react to them or treat them if they are successful and accomplish their goals. This will cause a person to act in ways in which they will ensure their failure.
As we’ve already covered these self-destructive behaviors are caused on a subconscious level. In reality, the saboteur is fooled into believing it is acting in the best interest of the individual by protecting them from harm and undesirable circumstances. If there is any degree of uncertainty, any doubt or any fear, the saboteur will be sure to find a way to see to it that it doesn’t happen.
Is Self-Sabotage Causing Problems In Your Life?
Does any of this describe you? Have you sabotaged your efforts in the past? Are you still sabotaging yourself now? Have you reached the point where you fear you will not be able to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?
Fortunately, it is possible to overcome self-sabotage. The first and most important step is to become aware that it is happening. Without awareness, nothing can change. You must have a conscious awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and actions in order to change your behavior.
Get To the Root Cause Of Self-Sabotage
If you have been struggling with a particular goal and things just aren’t working out for you, pause, step back and take a look at the setbacks you encountered and evaluate where you are currently and the reasons why.
Is it possible that some of the obstacles could have been avoided by making different choices? Have you encountered a significantly high number of obstacles for this particular goal? If the answer to these questions is “yes” it is likely that you are self-sabotaging yourself.
Time spent in quiet meditation is one of the best ways to get in touch with your subconscious mind. Ask yourself if you feel worthy, what your fears are, what uncertainties do you have? What reasons would hold you back? Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? If there is, ask why you feel uncomfortable.
Make Journaling A Daily Practice to Overcome Self-Sabotage
I strongly suggest using a journal to write these questions before you meditate. After writing the questions, sit quietly, take several deep breaths with the intention to relax, then do nothing but follow your breath (pay attention to nothing other than your breath) for 10 to 15 minutes. If a thought comes into your mind thank it for showing up and release it. When the 10 to 15 minutes is up, record any thoughts you had that pertain to the questions you wrote down. Were any of your questions answered?
Make this a daily practice and don’t be disappointed if the answers don’t come quickly. This process takes time and patience, but exploring the possibilities is well worth the effort. You are a powerful being and by connecting with the deepest part of yourself through meditation and writing in a journal you can dramatically increase your ability to move out of the self-sabotage rut.
When you come to understand and accept the truth that you are in control of your own success, you will be set free from whatever is holding you back! Feelings of limitation will be a thing of the past.
Meditation will help you develop clarity and insight regarding what it is you want to create. You may have insights that will raise awareness of future potential setbacks so you can avoid them. This daily meditation practice will move you out of self-sabotage so you can focus your energies on working toward new goals that will support you in every way. One day you will look back and realize that instead of being your own worst saboteur, you have become your strongest supporter.